sitting at the back of your mind
What a crazy night this has been.
I was wandering around after class had finished, walking from Townhall to Chinatown. I wanted to check if a resturant would take a booking for saturday night. I hadn't had dinner, so I thought I'd pop into a bakery and grab a steam bun. I started to walk to central station, eating my bun.
I looked up at the clock tower, 9.45pm. Hmm... not too late to cross through the park. Normally once it gets dark, I normally would take a longer route around the block so I don't have to cross through the park near the station. But there were plenty of people waiting at the intersection.... so I thought why not this once?
The light for the intersection went and I crossed, and I suddenly realised, there weren't many people going through the park. I couldn't be bothered walking around since I was so close to the station, so I'll try to cut through it this time. I was walking behind a man when my mobile rang. I started talking on the phone... walking along the dimly lit path of the park. While I was talking, I was thinking what would happen if someone attacked me right now? It would be the perfect opportunity, I'm distracted on the mobile and I'm alone. But then I waived the thought aside. Surely, they could see that I was on a phone, and that the person on the other end could hear if I was in trouble.
I was nearly out of the park, and still on the mobile, when a young girl came running up to me and asked me if I had a cigarette and I said, "No, sorry, I don't." and returned to my conversation on the phone. She didn't leave me, instead, glancing at the mobile pressed to my ear, and said, "Can I use your phone?"
I looked at her confused, since I was using it. And I said, "No. No, you can't."
She jumped in front of my path and screamed at me, trying to scare me.
Then she asked more louldy, "Give me your phone!!" I could see behind her, another girl who had been sitting in the dark, get off a bench and move towards us. I really didn't like what was happening now, and I started to move more quickly, starting to break into a light jog, my hand tightly on the phone.
The girl started to pick up her pace too, and I moved ahead of her, thinking I had gotten past her, when she grabbed the hood of my jacket. I turned, she let go of my hood and now grabbed my sleeve. I looked her in the eye and told her to let go of me.
"...Don't TOUCH me!!" She let go of my sleeve.
"I said - GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!!", she repeated.
I yelled at her, "NO!! So why don't you just F-U-C-K OFF?!"
She looked surprised, and said "Don't tell me to fuck off." I could see a homeless man from another bench get up from the darkness now, and he yelled something at us. A strange feeling came over me, I didn't feel scared. Just this unusual wave of calm and I could feel myself getting hard-hearted. I felt like I was armouring up inside, like a huge wall was growing. I was suddenly feeling incredibly aggressive towards this girl who was harrassing me and trying to take godknowswhat. I knew if her friend caught up with us, I would be in trouble. I remembered my friend who got mugged by being surrounded by a bunch of girls. I wasn't going to lie on the ground whilst they kicked the shit out of me. I also knew with the way I was feeling now I was really going to hurt this girl if I had to. I was already readying myself to punch her in the face. So I repeated, "Just FUCK OFF and leave me alone." I turned and jogged out of the park, checking behind to see if she was still following me.
I got to the station okay. But the whole event felt very surreal and too calm. I was walking past other passengers, all in their own world, unaware of what had just transpired. I got on the train, and sat down, just feeling weird. The wall was still up inside. I knew I was lucky that the sitatution didn't get ugly. Sitting on the train home, my right hand was shaking.
No more cutting through parks again.
I was wandering around after class had finished, walking from Townhall to Chinatown. I wanted to check if a resturant would take a booking for saturday night. I hadn't had dinner, so I thought I'd pop into a bakery and grab a steam bun. I started to walk to central station, eating my bun.
I looked up at the clock tower, 9.45pm. Hmm... not too late to cross through the park. Normally once it gets dark, I normally would take a longer route around the block so I don't have to cross through the park near the station. But there were plenty of people waiting at the intersection.... so I thought why not this once?
The light for the intersection went and I crossed, and I suddenly realised, there weren't many people going through the park. I couldn't be bothered walking around since I was so close to the station, so I'll try to cut through it this time. I was walking behind a man when my mobile rang. I started talking on the phone... walking along the dimly lit path of the park. While I was talking, I was thinking what would happen if someone attacked me right now? It would be the perfect opportunity, I'm distracted on the mobile and I'm alone. But then I waived the thought aside. Surely, they could see that I was on a phone, and that the person on the other end could hear if I was in trouble.
I was nearly out of the park, and still on the mobile, when a young girl came running up to me and asked me if I had a cigarette and I said, "No, sorry, I don't." and returned to my conversation on the phone. She didn't leave me, instead, glancing at the mobile pressed to my ear, and said, "Can I use your phone?"
I looked at her confused, since I was using it. And I said, "No. No, you can't."
She jumped in front of my path and screamed at me, trying to scare me.
Then she asked more louldy, "Give me your phone!!" I could see behind her, another girl who had been sitting in the dark, get off a bench and move towards us. I really didn't like what was happening now, and I started to move more quickly, starting to break into a light jog, my hand tightly on the phone.
The girl started to pick up her pace too, and I moved ahead of her, thinking I had gotten past her, when she grabbed the hood of my jacket. I turned, she let go of my hood and now grabbed my sleeve. I looked her in the eye and told her to let go of me.
"...Don't TOUCH me!!" She let go of my sleeve.
"I said - GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!!", she repeated.
I yelled at her, "NO!! So why don't you just F-U-C-K OFF?!"
She looked surprised, and said "Don't tell me to fuck off." I could see a homeless man from another bench get up from the darkness now, and he yelled something at us. A strange feeling came over me, I didn't feel scared. Just this unusual wave of calm and I could feel myself getting hard-hearted. I felt like I was armouring up inside, like a huge wall was growing. I was suddenly feeling incredibly aggressive towards this girl who was harrassing me and trying to take godknowswhat. I knew if her friend caught up with us, I would be in trouble. I remembered my friend who got mugged by being surrounded by a bunch of girls. I wasn't going to lie on the ground whilst they kicked the shit out of me. I also knew with the way I was feeling now I was really going to hurt this girl if I had to. I was already readying myself to punch her in the face. So I repeated, "Just FUCK OFF and leave me alone." I turned and jogged out of the park, checking behind to see if she was still following me.
I got to the station okay. But the whole event felt very surreal and too calm. I was walking past other passengers, all in their own world, unaware of what had just transpired. I got on the train, and sat down, just feeling weird. The wall was still up inside. I knew I was lucky that the sitatution didn't get ugly. Sitting on the train home, my right hand was shaking.
No more cutting through parks again.
posted by K at 7:24 AM
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