Blood ties

GEKKO (1859-1920)

This is Rabbit, signed by Gekko

Just finished class late. My brain feeling older. It seems to take more effort to retain things and just follow the simplest of instructions. Maybe I'm just out of practice.

I've gone back to using my PC, which I don't know how long will continue to hold out for me. Hopefully until my assignments can be handed in. My macbook's gone in for repair. He's been suffering too many RSDs of lates and it was getting worrying. I hope they can fix it.

Feeling down. Thinking about things that are out of my hands. Things I can't control. Thinking about my time in Korea and what somebody said to me. The hardest thing about being in Seoul was dealing with the racism. Being looked down on because I wasn't korean or white. It hurt in a way, because I was thinking about my mother. She made sure my brother and I would speak english without an accent so we wouldn't be seen as second class citizens. We lost our mother's tongue. We never spoke mandarin at home. And so here I was, in Seoul, where all her efforts weren't appreciated. There were nights where I'd stare at the ceiling, lying in my bed feeling angry about it. Even with the lights off, my room was still bright from all the city lights of Seoul. I closed my eyes and try to forget how narrow people could be.

I seem to find myself in recurring situations where I have to try to open people's minds. I don't know why this is. Maybe I'm just unhappy with the way things are and I want to change them. I guess I don't want people to accept that what they've been taught is the truth.