What a crazy night this has been.

I was wandering around after class had finished, walking from Townhall to Chinatown. I wanted to check if a resturant would take a booking for saturday night. I hadn't had dinner, so I thought I'd pop into a bakery and grab a steam bun. I started to walk to central station, eating my bun.

I looked up at the clock tower, 9.45pm. Hmm... not too late to cross through the park. Normally once it gets dark, I normally would take a longer route around the block so I don't have to cross through the park near the station. But there were plenty of people waiting at the intersection.... so I thought why not this once?

The light for the intersection went and I crossed, and I suddenly realised, there weren't many people going through the park. I couldn't be bothered walking around since I was so close to the station, so I'll try to cut through it this time. I was walking behind a man when my mobile rang. I started talking on the phone... walking along the dimly lit path of the park. While I was talking, I was thinking what would happen if someone attacked me right now? It would be the perfect opportunity, I'm distracted on the mobile and I'm alone. But then I waived the thought aside. Surely, they could see that I was on a phone, and that the person on the other end could hear if I was in trouble.

I was nearly out of the park, and still on the mobile, when a young girl came running up to me and asked me if I had a cigarette and I said, "No, sorry, I don't." and returned to my conversation on the phone. She didn't leave me, instead, glancing at the mobile pressed to my ear, and said, "Can I use your phone?"

I looked at her confused, since I was using it. And I said, "No. No, you can't."
She jumped in front of my path and screamed at me, trying to scare me.

Then she asked more louldy, "Give me your phone!!" I could see behind her, another girl who had been sitting in the dark, get off a bench and move towards us. I really didn't like what was happening now, and I started to move more quickly, starting to break into a light jog, my hand tightly on the phone.

The girl started to pick up her pace too, and I moved ahead of her, thinking I had gotten past her, when she grabbed the hood of my jacket. I turned, she let go of my hood and now grabbed my sleeve. I looked her in the eye and told her to let go of me.

"...Don't TOUCH me!!" She let go of my sleeve.

"I said - GIVE ME YOUR PHONE!!", she repeated.

I yelled at her, "NO!! So why don't you just F-U-C-K OFF?!"

She looked surprised, and said "Don't tell me to fuck off." I could see a homeless man from another bench get up from the darkness now, and he yelled something at us. A strange feeling came over me, I didn't feel scared. Just this unusual wave of calm and I could feel myself getting hard-hearted. I felt like I was armouring up inside, like a huge wall was growing. I was suddenly feeling incredibly aggressive towards this girl who was harrassing me and trying to take godknowswhat. I knew if her friend caught up with us, I would be in trouble. I remembered my friend who got mugged by being surrounded by a bunch of girls. I wasn't going to lie on the ground whilst they kicked the shit out of me. I also knew with the way I was feeling now I was really going to hurt this girl if I had to. I was already readying myself to punch her in the face. So I repeated, "Just FUCK OFF and leave me alone." I turned and jogged out of the park, checking behind to see if she was still following me.

I got to the station okay. But the whole event felt very surreal and too calm. I was walking past other passengers, all in their own world, unaware of what had just transpired. I got on the train, and sat down, just feeling weird. The wall was still up inside. I knew I was lucky that the sitatution didn't get ugly. Sitting on the train home, my right hand was shaking.

No more cutting through parks again.

Someone told me once, big losses always start small. I guess there are always signs out there in the world but for some reason we don't see them... or maybe we don't want to.

Strings and ties pull taut, breaking loose.

Been working on this toy for Red Magic in Hong Kong. It's been a bit tough because I've been OS when deadlines have been due, so I guess I've been lucky they still went ahead with my really rough drafts. I had to hustle a bit when I got home. An interesting learning experience though. But I think I really need to start learning how to use illustrator. :) I think it'll save me alot of time and headache.

Trying to think of where to go from here.

mood: ....
currently listening to: Beggar, Mos Def


Don't really know what I'm doing tonight.
I just want to go back to korea.

Soju

Probably a slack thing to do... to take a picture whilst a man is down. This one was snapped on my way to class one day. My heart was pounding hard as I took it.

I see a lot of great photos... or I guess alot of things that could become great pictures when I'm out, but sometimes I'm relunctant to take it.

I don't know if I'd ever have the guts to be a photojournalist. You have to admire their ballsiness. You have to become quite hard and cold I think. To be able to take photos whilst people are at their most vulnerable. Or maybe some part of you just feelsl impelled to do it. Like you have no choice.